Catching The Frisbees of Life

....Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?...
From Job 2

I launched the Frisbee with a quick backhanded toss from my right hand.  At first the Frisbee flew a flat and somewhat rising trajectory to my right.  Juney eagerly retrieved it with typical Lab enthusiasm.  I tossed it many times but I could not get it to hold a level  flight long enough for Juney to catch up with it in the air.  Juney is our middle daughter and family’s black lab who has stayed with us this past week.  She is a lovely dog and is a people pleaser.  I am reconciling my advancing age with declining ability physically to throw a Frisbee.

Advancing age or not it is still a delight to throw a Frisbee to a Labrador after more than 40 years. Then it was with my brother’s black Lab, Tuco, who lived with myself and my brother in the Fall of 1970.  We were going too school at Washington State and lived together in a small basement apartment adjacent to Mcgee Park in Pullman, Washington.  I was young, Tuco was young and my brother was a young veteran of the Vietnam war.  My brother had lived through great pain by way of this terrifying curve called Vietnam. No such hard curves for me,  God was spinning perfectly thrown Frisbees my way.  I thought that was the way things would always be.

If my life was a picture book I would flip through pages and remind myself of all of the good things that have been sent my way.  I might come first to a picture of my wife.  At this I would pause for a while and think about what a miracle it was that I even met this wonderful girl from upstate New York: 

You know how it is: you’re twenty-one or twenty-two and you make some decisions; then whisssh! you’re seventy: you’ve been a lawyer for fifty years, and that white-haired lady at your side has eaten over fifty thousand meals with you.
From Our Town by Thornton Wilder

From our marriage came the most wonderful pieces of my life, three children.  Two girls and a boy, they are still young, married and are working hard to make their way in this world.  And yet they are no longer here most of the time and my wife and I have only smaller roles in their lives. 

There are no free passes in life and if I ever had one, it was revoked when the neurologist at the University of Washington told me I had Parkinson’s disease.  I had no clear idea of what living with a chronic degenerative disease would be like. Even less clear were what changes  mentally and physically that would come to roost and never leave.

I was about to learn what it is like to take prescription drugs daily for a long time.  I was about feel what it is like personally to balance intended drug effects with unintended effects or side effects.  I was about understand what all of my pharmacy customers already understood.  Taking drugs on the long term is an arduous, and difficult task that requires much effort and expense.

And yet there is reason to hope, given the scientific advances with Parkinson’s. The list of medications available to treat PD since I entered pharmacy in the 1970’s has risen sharply and is worth noting. Startling success has been achieved with DBS or deep brain surgery.  A story came across the internet this past week about a young woman with early onset Parkinson's who has recently ran a full marathon after receiving the surgery.  Not a cure but a procedure that can provide relief for many and often for a long time.  Still it is not a procedure to be taken lightly and does not cure while it apparently does a very good job of treating some of the symptoms.

In that Fall of 1970 I would rush back to our tiny apartment somewhere between my early classes.  I unlocked the door and Tuco would come bounding out bursting with Labrador strength.  With Frisbee in hand I stepped out to the park and dog and I would start our game.  With a quick flip of my wrist I could send a Frisbee straight and true halfway across the park.  It finished with a hover and was plucked from the air in perfect timing by a leaping 2 year old Lab. a crowd of students soon gathered and clapped and cheered every catch. Those days were a true gift followed by many more.  Now, long after Tuco has gone. It is my turn to retrieve the Frisbees thrown my way by God.  Both the good and bad.

The Winds of Change Are With Us

Come gather 'round people

Wedding Day 1977

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown

Bob Dylan

There are periods of life when things appear to be finished.  I feel like the last new era has dawned and is destined to go on forever. I think to myself, my time has finally arrived and "this is it!"

There was the 70's.  A period of time when the college years were left behind and I moved into the era of youthful early career.  I was one of the "fair haired boys full of dreams and promise."  I thought to myself "Hey, it is always going to be this way, isn't it?"  

The 80's approached and I found love and there was a wedding and babies.  I would always be a young father and "why wouldn't I think that?" 

I ushered in the 90's and the pace picked up.  The kids were in school and I had a home to keep up.  And oh yes there were bills to pay.  I thought, "now this is the real stage of life that will not end." Of course it ended and the truth that  I was beginning to see was that each stage simply moves faster than the last. Each bringing things I never thought possible in the previous one. 

Now I am older and find myself in a late stage of life among the silver eagles.  I ask myself, "How did I ever become a 65 year old man with Parkinson's?"  There is no answer to that question, so I decide it best to leave it behind and move ahead.  Parkinson's is a disease that has threatened to take away from life as it moves ahead at its insidious pace.

I want this to be a message of hope and I believe that the "Times They Are a Changin".  These changes are being ushered in by fair winds that promise to help many.  Medicine is moving alongside Parkinson's at a pace not dreamed of just a few years back.  Browse the links I have included and I hope you, as I have, will find encouragement.  These are links to only a small sample of an explosion of new information being discovered about Parkinson's and shared instantly by way of the personal computer.

And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics                     

Who prophesize with your pen

And keep your eyes wide

The chance won't come again

Don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'

Read more: Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-changin' Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

From Bob Dylan "The Times They Are A-changin"

Still Shaky in Coupeville

Parkinson's Vaccine Looks Promising

Phase 1 trials in this Fox foundation funded study were intended to ramp up the body's own defenses against the damaging effects of alpha synuclein.

Deep Brain Stimulation Improves Survival in Severe Parkinson's Disease

Bilateral subthalamic nucleus deep brain stimulation (STN-DBS) has been shown to improve motor function, motor fluctuations, health-related quality of life, and to reduce medication usage and drug-induced dyskinesia in patients with severe PD refractory to medical therapy.

Intel Explores Wearable Devices for Parkinson's Disease Research

Intel Corp plans to use wearable gadgets such as smart watches to monitor patients with Parkinson's disease and collect data that can be shared with researchers.

One-Two Punch for Parkinson's

Researchers from the Florida campus of the Scripps Institute have found a dual-inhibitor compound expected to counter Parkinson's in 2 separate ways simultaneously. 

Bee Venom Acupuncture shows promise in Parkinson's

Both acupuncture and bee venom acupuncture showed promising results in improving symptoms among patients with Parkinson's disease in a small new study.

Regular brisk walking helps Parkinson's patients make strides
Regular brisk walking may improve motor function, mood, tiredness, and fitness in patients with mild-to-moderate Parkinson's disease, a new study suggests.

To Chopaka and back again

Moon over Chopaka

ln recent years my brother Bill, and I have made an annual trip to fly fish at a lake called Chopaka.  Chopaka is a remote lake in the north central part of our state perched near the Canadian/US border. I have always enjoyed camping and fishing but this time I found myself wanting to back out as the time approached. Not going anywhere is an option that increasingly enters my mind when there is a choice.  Aging, feeling tired from Parkinson's and the drugs that go with it, may contribute to such feelings.  Thankfully I opted not to take the easier choice and managed to be enthusiastic and garnered the strength to make the trip to Chopaka with my brother.

The drive to and from Chopaka is lengthy and is in the end difficult and hazardous.  The good part is that brother Bill does the driving and I get to ride with a very good driver, enjoy the scenery and the company of one of the people I admire most.  After spending our first night in a motel, we followed highway 97 East and North to the town of Tonasket. From there the final 20 miles to the lake finishes with at least 10 miles of steep, rough and just plain nasty road.  This stretch of the road is in non maintained condition with no covering of gravel and which means it is down to driving on sharp bedrock.  Early on this portion of the road is very steep and to make things more difficult there is an assortment of rocks baseball size and larger that have fallen on the road after rain or livestock or wild life knocks them loose from the rocky and nearly vertical wall that rises on our left.  On the right it is a near vertical drop off with no guard rail.  Thankfully the road soon levels a bit and pine forest complete with grazing cattle filled in around us. The thrill of being in the mountains of the Okanagan country of Washington state has begun to settle in.  the theme from the classic 1956 western movie, "The Big Country" begins to play in my head.  No matter how old I become or whether Parkinson's is trying to take charge of my ambition being among mountains like this will always be a thrill.

Eventually the road forked and after some hesitation we took the left fork and climbed a bit more and from here got our first sight of the lake which now stretched out below us lying among green meadows and open forest of Ponderosa pine. It is always a site so grand that it sweeps away the fatigue of the long and difficult drive.   Bill descended this final stretch carefully with our tent trailer in tow, down to the Chopaka Lake campground. Cool weather and slower than normal fishing meant that there were plenty of sites to choose when we arrived, including our favorite site of previous years in the grass near the shallow end of the lake.  We carefully parked the truck and the tent trailer that was intended to be our mountain home for the next several days. Then we busied ourselves unloading gear and completing a variety of tasks needed to set up camp prior to putting on the fly fishing gear and hitting the water.

I have always enjoyed the birds of Chopaka and quickly spotted some old friends and maybe some new ones hanging about: redwing blackbirds, western tanagers, goldfinches, swallows,  bold and lovely robins and ducks with many babies trailing. I noticed that the June sun carried some heat as I walked rocky path to the pit toilet that would be our amenities for the next several days. Along the way a young and small snake earnestly slithered across my path holding his head high like a determined child and yet his appearance was a bit more sinister that the typical garter or gopher snake. I focused in on his triangular head and later identified him as a member of the Western rattlesnake family.  Still very young, he as yet had no rattles. I thought about the snake but we kept our eyes open and did not see him again, nor any more of his family.

Bill preps the rods

With an afternoon of fishing ahead I put on chest high, breathable and leaky waders. I also had a cap to protect my face from the sun and a pair of polarized sunglasses to protect my eyes. I finished preparations and selected my favorite rod. A rod I had finished myself from a blank made by a company simply known as Sage.  The rod remains a prize possession from years gone by when sans tremor I carefully wrapped and finished it myself.  Bill helped me pick out a fly and tied it on for me since my own ability to tie on flies and threading gear is sometimes both difficult and slow.   I access the lake via a float tube that surrounds me and keeps me above waterline. Nothing fancy but it works. I keep close in and fish for rainbow trout feeding on insects among the weeds.  It seems PD has had some effect on my legs ability to kick and propel.  Strangely my left leg wanted to drag. I stayed close in and got off the water when the wind picked up. That first day the wind increased and churned the water into whitecaps and I was driven off the water early and got no fish.

Among fly fishers there is constant talk of insect hatches and the impact they have on the feeding patterns of the rainbow trout that inhabit the lake.  The kinds of flies that are hatching dictates the pattern of fly chosen to trick the fish into thinking they are chomping on a natural snack.  I like to fish the reedy shoreline for trout feeding on the numerous insects that hatch among them. I make short casts that allow my fly to touch the water gently just in front of the reeds and occasionally is followed a flash of action and a quick tug at the end of my line that race the pulse like nothing else in the world.  On day two my luck turned a bit better and the following two days I got two fish a day.  Thank goodness PD tremors are resting tremors and I can bring fish in and retrieve line pretty good.  I have to be very careful when I hold my rod in my right hand and do not pay attention to the tremors.  That combination can produce some pretty mean snarls of leader, fly and line in an amazingly short period of time.

The nights were chilly, reaching down into the 40's but Bill kept the inside of his tent trailer quite warm. Three of the four days we were  out I slept poorly.  After going to sleep at 10 PM I would wake up before 1 AM and lie in the warmth of my sleeping bag and think about much but PD continues to be a dominant topic. I also wonder why elements of my faith gnaw at me during these nights and continue to raise questions that seemingly have no answers. Answers I do not have and underscore the need for faith. Trips outside were frequent during the night and were both annoying and inspiring.  Annoying in that a sense of urgency drives you out and into the cold of the high mountain night.  The inspiring part was stepping out into a crisp full moonlit night in the mountains with legions of frogs providing a full musical score.  

During the course of of nearly 4 days of fishing we were confronted with an assortment of weather and both the good and bad of insect life.  At times the wind blew up white caps on the water while I sat in my camp chair and sipped a brew.  There were times of 80 degree heat when I smeared on mosquito repellent to keep the pesky blood biters at bay.  There were also the periods of beauty and tranquility on the lake, when the callibaetis hatched and the the trout came up from somewhere in the depths and began to rise for a taste of this most natural snack.  Or the simple pleasure of basking in the sun and stretching out in comfort while again enjoying the taste of an ice cold ale.  I also recognize that if not for my brother and my decision to go in spite of the effort that Parkinson's presents that I would not have these memories.  Memories to savor while I sit at my desk dreaming of colorful rainbow trout and the elusive callibaetis and prepare these notes to share them with others.

Shaky in Coupeville

Good bye Chopaka for another year